Often my mind sits still with the underlying beauty of watching the sunset or rise whilst above the clouds. My mind overdrives in reflection draining my eyelids of tears. It’s hard to make a distanced travel to a place you have left so many memories in the past. The fading of friendships and undefined circumstances of a matured set of meetings. I miss many people i’ve left in 2016. I miss many people who left without my wanting too. Looking outside to the colour brings back the joy and thought of things being better. Things are better and have been but I can’t help but have the feel of wanting more. Not materialistically but in human connection with another. Don’t get me wrong i’m fine travelling alone, spending time alone and just generally the comfort of just being surrounded by strangers. But more than often a time will come where for some reason my thoughts get to me and I burst a little into a small ball of emotion.
Loss doesn’t help the backwards looking of trying to define a reason as to why you could feel a certain feeling at one time but not another. Why is it now that the world triggers me into a downward journey. Yet when I exit the plane I am back to being good with the circumstances that are around me.
Whether it be a song, a colour or time of the day the remembering of a time, place or feeling can bring back strong gusts of unneeded emotion. I think what always gets me being up in the air is that you’re on such a different level and you can look down on what you were in a sort of strange reflective manner. Looking down I could see a version of myself i’ve never really looked back on and can watch the motions as events occur.
I like flying for the most of it, but sometimes it can be a bit much at the end of a long day of waiting for the journey.
These were a few thoughts from a flight I took a few weeks ago to the North Island.