i often think about how my eyes have led me to see and my life has led me to believe and my skin allows itself to bleed and yet after every heart beat i may feel more than the one before. that every breath my lungs allow me to take can let my mind step one step forward or ten steps backward. how is it so? how can all the progress we make shatter so easily? i am proud and yet my mind makes me believe that i need more and the world wants more of me. that my best isn’t the next persons best therefore i am left hands over face on the floor. why do i feel the things i feel and write the words i do in this order. these processes day to day are bunched confusion from the daily gaining of knowledge and experience leading me to want to both be better and be less.